Got Fired…

They just do.

In fact, I’m sitting here trying to think of ANY job I ever had 
where I actually liked the boss for any length of time at all.

Oh, they’re all fine in the beginning, aren’t they?

But it didn’t take long for them to fall out of my 
good graces.

They’re cool until all the nagging and complaining 
and demanding starts and then it’s over.

There was this one boss that was cool for about 
three weeks.  But he has the exception, not the rule.

I once worked at a waste-water treatment plant for 
a douche-bag named Arnold Allred.  

He had a Napoleon Complex because he was 
about 18 inches tall.  

Oh, and he was a douche-bag.  Did I 
mention that?

He loved to strut around the waste-water treatment 
plant like he was God.  

It was amazing how excited this guy would get 
in meetings talking about “sludge”.

(He wouldn’t allow you to actually talk about the
stuff that came into the plant as “crap”.  I think it’s 
because he didn’t want anyone to start thinking of
him as “the guy who runs the Crap Plant.”

No, sir.  

That’s why he made us all call it “sludge”.

Anyway…my glorious job was to walk around 
the plant at night time….look at different gauges….
and then write down the numbers on my clipboard.

This amounted to about 10 minutes of work every hour.

The rest of the time I was supposed to wax floors.  Or
whatever.

So, here’s the kind of boss that Arnold The Douchebag was.

Arnold lived about 30 minutes away and he
got off work at 4:30.

But, he was notorious for getting out of bed in the middle
of the night….driving 30 miles from his house…

…and then he would sneak sneak into the plant….
and then hide in the dark to make sure that you 
were actually doing your job.

What a goober.  

I got fired from that one.  

Guess what for?

I turned his computer on.

Seriously.  That was all.  Well….that and the fact that
I didn’t mop the floors the way he liked.

But, I have to make a confession….

It probably wasn’t just Arnold…

The truth was that I just didn’t like working at
a job very much… 

It just didn’t make sense to me…

This whole notion of “selling my time” to someone else…

Plus, I swear that working at a job made me
feel like I was going crazy….

I just didn’t like it…

Here’s one you might can relate to….

I was often late.

And it didn’t matter what time I had to be on the
job.

I just couldn’t get there on time.  It was just not
possible.

It wouldn’t even matter if I had l lived NEXT DOOR
to where I worked and didn’t have to go in until 10am…

…I would still manage to always be 5 or 10 minutes
late.

So, one day my boss looked at me and said…

“Tony, we’re going to have to do something about
you being late all the time….”

And I said, “yeah, I know…”

He said, “What do you think we need to do?”

I said, “You know, I think I just need to quit.”

He was horrified!  

He said,  “No, Tony I don’t want you to quit.
You’re good with people and you do a good
job….I just need you to be on time.”

And I said, “Yeah…I know.  But the truth is that,
if I really wanted to be here….I’d be on time.
And I think I really just don’t want to be here….”

So I quit.

And, in fairness, he wasn’t really a bad boss…

But most of them suck.

I’m talking about the kind of boss that makes
you think about tapping your boss on the shoulder,
having him turn around (in slow-motion) and then
feeding him a knuckle-sandwich….all while 
giving him a little grin….

Heck, why do you think movies like 
“Office Space” are so popular?

Because working for a boss sucks.

Question:  have you ever heard of a phantom finger?

A “phantom finger” is that weird thing where someone
loses a finger and their brain keeps making them imagine
that they can feel a real finger there.

Well, I swear….

Working at a job made me imagine that I had a 250
pound ball of molten lava tied to one ankle…..

…and a hungry alligator tied to the other ankle….

So, I finally came to the conclusion….

Working for a boss sucks.

No one should do it.

Ever.

Bosses suck.

Well, except for me.

I’m a good boss.  🙂

I’m the first boss I’ve ever actually liked!  
Check out how good I am to me!

 — I don’t give myself stupid, mindless chores to do

 — I’m very flexible with my schedule.

— I’m real nice and I always listen to me

 — I give myself lots of time off….with pay

 — I don’t talk down to myself

 — I don’t act like I’m having a heart attack if I sleep late
  and decide not to do anything for the whole morning…

 — In fact, I don’t even care if I show up at all as long
  as the results are there…

 — I don’t freak out when I decide to give myself a raise

 — I don’t pressure me with stupid deadlines

And I’m only partially kidding.  I really do live that way.

See, this whole thing about “making money” basically boils
down to two things:

1.  You’re either living your dreams
2.  Or you’re working for someone who’s living their dreams.

And, the fact is that human beings are not designed
to be in subjugation to other human beings for long…

Oh, sure….some learn to live with it….

But life REALLY starts when you decide to 
“Live Your Life ON PURPOSE”….

…and that usually means doing your own thing